Question: Is Rebuilding Burnt Bridges A Personally Lucrative Affair?
There are moments, every now and then, where I find myself thinking back about certain friends from the years that have gone by. For many, my friendship with them has endured and our bond remains as strong as ever (and in some case it has gotten even stronger). With some others, I sadly reflect that our time of knowing each other went by all too quickly. A few other faces sometimes pass by my minds eye and while I can say that we were never really close, it was good to have known them. I can certainly say that I learnt some vital lessons about life from them and I do wonder what they are doing when their memory is resurrected in my head. At other points, I also think of many close friends I had in my early school days and have not seen again, owing to my having to shift to another city or country. Sadly I can recall some of them but either their first name or last name is eludes me. Even good old reliable Facebook has not been able to help me locate them as yet. But maybe when the time is right, we’ll cross paths again somewhere.
But there are times, perhaps on a quite Saturday afternoon, where I do think of a very select set of people, who felt more like family to me. Our affection for each other was strong but tragically with a majority of them, the bonds broke and they snapped ties with me altogether. In a couple of cases, it was a real case of betrayal, where they used me to get ahead in whatever life quest they were pursuing. I’m sure many of you can think of at least one person, who you felt hurt by. With that it leads me to draw your attention to what I’ve started to ponder about in the last few weeks. Is it perhaps time to reach out to that person or those people and find that last bit of closure? Let them know how you felt by their actions but more importantly forgive and let them know it?
A very dear friend of mine, has often loved to quote a famous line that that reads “some people come into your life for a reason, some for a season and some for a lifetime.” She also quite often adds that it is crucial to not let any negativity affect you in the long run. Her motto has always been to deal with it, cry your heart out if you must but above all to find the strength to let go and keep respecting yourself. She adds that it is vital to learn from what happened and only remember the good things and walk on.
But while I understand that, with the select set of people I mentioned earlier, I wonder if it is indeed worth reaching out and taking that risk to talk to them? Or if it might be worth trying to rebuild the bridges of trust that they burnt, when they decided to turn into pyromaniacs and set an inferno to what I thought they also held precious? Or perhaps instead I wonder if I should make a greater effort to focus on learning the reason for their presence, reminisce fondly on the brief season that was and hold that ounce of value close to my heart for the rest of my life? I’d be curious to know how they feel now and if they would consider making an equal effort to restore what was lost. Personally, it feels hard to be the one to make the effort and risk getting hurt again. But as many wise people have told me before, if one looks deep within their hearts, they’d know if it might be worth the effort or not. And as I write that I can almost hear Adele singing in the distance “Hello from the other side………” Next Take please!