Sunday, January 30, 2011

From Here Till Eternity!

Courtesy: N. Gautam
A little while ago, I read a quote by a pretty famous celebrity who reiterated a very “in statement” that quite a few people have been joyously quoting with greater fervour these days.  The statement was simply this – “Marriage is a dying institution.”  With the rate of divorces escalating, not just in the West, but even here in India, coupled with the increasing number of live in relationships and multiple superficial relationships that so many young urban people seem to be opting for; may lead one to feel and proclaim that marriage no longer holds up too well as it once did.  Self-proclaimed opinion leaders or “cool people” may say “Why consider getting married anymore as it is only becoming more of an emotional trap rather than a happily ever after story. Right?”  Sorry, but I’m not buying that logic or view.

Before I proceed any further, let me state here that my attention is on love marriages and not arranged ones as the latter is decided not by the marrying pair but by their respective families.

To begin with, I’d first like to pose a simple question – Why get married at all? The answer to this, as one might expect, would be diverse ranging from being officially united with your soul mate, to avoiding loneliness or to simply doing what is natural for any adult to do.  That may seem fair on the surface but it would require one to deeply introspect about what being married really means.

Marriage is more than just a simple act, which involves one big party, wedding bells, champagne, cake and hundreds of guests.  It is a communion of two souls blessed and sanctified by God.  It is a sacred oath that two people take to always love and cherish one another and to never betray one another’s trust.  Those who feel that marriage is a type of trap that curtails their individual freedom should then not get married in the first place. 

However, all too often and especially here in India, parents, relatives and friends put too much emphasis on the fact that a person needs to get married.  It doesn't matter to whom and it sure doesn't matter if they are the right one. Just do it. Why? Because that's the way it's been done and so it shall continue. But more importantly, it is because of one simple reason – what would others think of us and you.  Sorry but that just contributes to the increasing number of marriages that have led to suffering and at times disastrous consequences.   

Side stepping a bit, all too often, people say that marriage is a compromise.  Everything you are and stand for gets buried under and emotional tidal wave by a more domineering spouse.  Keeping this in mind, we need to go back to the start of any relationship that began with mutual attraction and led to love. If the love element between two people is strong then such a thing won’t happen.  But if it is less or if one partner is less sincere, then trouble would soon emerge.  I read somewhere that the true power of a relationship lies with the person who doesn't care or love as much as the other and hence has less to lose and can cut off easier.  They are the true villains that have defamed the institution of marriage.

Hence, it’s important for any decent person to be patient in finding that right person or angel that God put on this Earth for them.  For when they do, they’d find that married life takes on a whole new meaning.  It creates a new world of possibilities, a place of discovery and a realm to learn more about yourself and the one you love.  By being true to one another, both of them could soar to a higher plain in their lifetime together, far above the seas of adversity that make up daily life.  And by consistently strengthening their bond and spreading their wings wide for each other, they could fly onwards From Here Till Eternity. Next Take please!

5 comments:

  1. -) .. U make us wanna believe Nice One Rohan!

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  2. Hmm... Rohan I was a strong contender for live in relationships until I found 'the angel' ur talkin about. For me marriage still is sumthing happens btw the hearts and soul like u said and I dnt think a piece of paper or huge reception are needed to confirm it.

    Today I feel marriage is such a commercialized issue. Before u look at the person u look at the bank balance, the watch - gucci or armani, whether they would be able to afford the caribean cruize. And its happening all around us. This makes me loose faith. Cause this not marriage its barter!

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  3. Hmm... very interesting and so true!!
    Two people taking an oath and a commitment infront of God, their families and friends to love& cherish each other is an amazing moment and a feeling you will cherish forever.
    Many people will have their own opinions about marriage whats important is our own opinions and what it means to us..
    What counts is finding that special 'ANGEL' and fighting to be with the one you love thats what matters...

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  4. You've been quite a guarded optimist. I am curious to know what the after-life analysis is when you meet the perfect match :)

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  5. I am sort of in-between over here. In my personal opinion, it does not matter whether the marriage is arranged or otherwise. What matters is, like you very correctly point out; trust and unconditional love for each other. And this is something which can be done (and is being done largely) in both, love marriages and arranged ones.

    But the problem in India especially is that we are aping the west. This whole thing of live-in relationships, divorces at the drop of a hat, or being "independent" stems from western culture. I do agree that a lot of arranged marriages are done hastily because of "what will they think", but on the whole, arranged marriage is something that works. Even people who get married after knowing each other for years sometimes get divorced! Why do you think that the divorce rate in India is less than 5%? The west is completely against arranged marriages, even going to the extent of calling us crazy and backward, yet the divorce rate in America for example is more than 50%!!

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